Steve ‘did it hurt - a little’ Rogers
#/SCREAMS ABOUT HOW SKINNY!STEVE’S CHRONIC PAIN PROBABLY FUCKED UP HIS PERCEPTION OF PAIN FOR LIFE #STEVE ROGERS ‘OKAY YEAH THAT’S UNPLEASANT’ WOULD PARALYSE ANYONE ELSE #AND THAT’S NOT THE SERUM #THAT’S SKINNY STEVE THROUGH AND THROUGH (via beccabuchanans)
Don’t even start me on the fact he’s spent his whole life trying not to make a big deal of when he’s ill. He doesn’t want pity or sympathy. He doesn’t wanted to be treated like he’s weak. He doesn’t want to be looked down on because ‘he can’t take it’.
You only ever hear Steve Rogers scream once, and when he thinks people think he’s being weak, he stops and never screams again. Not unless you count the moment he sees Bucky fall to his death.
When you live in total squalor—cookies in your pants drawer, pants in your cookies drawer, and nickels, dresses, old New Yorkers, and apple seeds in your bed—it’s hard to know where to look when you lose your keys. The other day, after two weeks of fruitless searching, I found my keys in the refrigerator on top of the roasted garlic hummus. I can’t say I was surprised. I was surprised when my psychiatrist diagnosed me with ADHD two years ago, when I was a junior at Yale.
In editorials and in waiting rooms, concerns of too-liberal diagnoses and over-medication dominate our discussions of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, or ADHD. The New York Times recently reported, with great alarm, the findings of a new Center for Disease Control and Prevention study: 11 percent of school-age children have received an ADHD diagnosis, a 16 percent increase since 2007. And rising diagnoses mean rising treatments—drugs like Adderall and Ritalin are more accessible than ever, whether prescribed by a physician or purchased in a library. The consequences of misuse and abuse of these drugs are dangerous, sometimes fatal.
Yet also harmful are the consequences of ADHD untreated, an all-too-common story for women like me, who not only develop symptoms later in life, but also have symptoms—disorganization and forgetfulness, for instance—that look different than those typically expressed in males. While the New York Times’ Op-Ed columnist Roger Cohen may claim that Adderall and other “smart” drugs “have become to college what steroids are to baseball,” these drugs have given me, a relatively unambitious young adult who does not need to cram for tests or club until 6 a.m., a more normal, settled life.
The idea that young adults, particularly women, actually have ADHD routinely evokes skepticism. As a fairly driven adult female who had found the strength to sit through biology lectures and avoid major academic or social failures, I, too, was initially perplexed by my diagnosis. My peers were also confused, and rather certain my psychiatrist was misguided. “Of course you don’t have ADHD. You’re smart,” a friend told me, definitively, before switching to the far more compelling topic: medication. “So are you going to take Adderall and become super skinny?” “Are you going to sell it?” “Are you going to snort it?”
The answer to all of those questions was no. I would be taking Concerta, a relative of Ritalin. Dr. Ellen Littman, author of Understanding Girls with ADHD, has studied high IQ adults and adolescents with the disorder for more than 25 years. She attributes the under-diagnosis of girls and women—estimated to be around 4 million who are not diagnosed, or half to three-quarters of all women with ADHD—and the misunderstandings that have ensued about the disorder as it manifests in females, to the early clinical studies of ADHD in the 1970s. “These studies were based on really hyperactive young white boys who were taken to clinics,” Littman says. “The diagnostic criteria were developed based on those studies. As a result, those criteria over-represent the symptoms you see in young boys, making it difficult for girls to be diagnosed unless they behave like hyperactive boys.”
ADHD does not look the same in boys and girls. Women with the disorder tend to be less hyperactive and impulsive, more disorganized, scattered, forgetful, and introverted. “They’ve alternately been anxious or depressed for years,” Littman says. “It’s this sense of not being able to hold everything together.”
Further, while a decrease in symptoms at puberty is common for boys, the opposite is true for girls, whose symptoms intensify as estrogen increases in their system, thus complicating the general perception that ADHD is resolved by puberty. One of the criteria for ADHD long held by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, published by the American Psychiatric Association, is that symptoms appear by age 7. While this age is expected to change to 12 in the new DSM-V, symptoms may not emerge until college for many girls, when the organizing structure of home life—parents, rules, chores, and daily, mandatory school—is eliminated, and as estrogen levels increase. “Symptoms may still be present in these girls early on,” says Dr. Pat Quinn, cofounder of The National Center for Girls and Women with ADHD. “They just might not affect functioning until a girl is older.” Even if girls do outwardly express symptoms, they are less likely to receive diagnoses. A 2009 study conducted by atThe University of Queenland found that girls displaying ADHD symptoms are less likely to be referred for mental health services.
In “The Secret Lives of Girls with ADHD,” published in the December 2012 issue ofAttention, Dr. Littman investigates the emotional cost of high IQ girls with ADHD, particularly for those undiagnosed. Confused and ashamed by their struggles, girls will internalize their inability to meet social expectations. Sari Solden, a therapist and author of Women and Attention Deficit Disorder, says, “For a long time, these girls see their trouble prioritizing, organizing, coordinating, and paying attention as character flaws. No one told them it’s neurobiological.”
Often, women who are finally diagnosed with ADHD in their twenties or beyond have been anxious or depressed for years. A recent study published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology found that girls with ADHD have high rates of self-injury and suicide during their teenage years, at last bringing attention to the distinct severity of ADHD in females. In Pediatrics, a large population study found that the majority of adults with ADHD had at least one other psychiatric disorder, from alcohol abuse to hypomanic episodes to major depression. This poses a particular threat to females, for whom ADHD diagnoses tend to come later in life.
For the two decades prior to my diagnosis, I never would have suspected my symptoms were symptoms; rather, I considered these traits—my messiness, forgetfulness, trouble concentrating, important-document-losing—to be embarrassing personal failings. Matters really deteriorated in college, when I was wrongfully allowed a room of my own, leaving me with no mother to check up on “that space between your bed and the wall,” where moldy teacups, money, and important documents would lie dormant. I maintained a room so cluttered that fire inspectors not only threatened to fine me 200 dollars if I didn’t clean, they insisted it was the messiest room they had ever seen (boys’ included!) in their twenty years of service. Throughout college, I would lose my ID and keys about five times a semester. I’d consistently show up for work three hours early or three hours late. I once misplaced my cellphone only to find it, weeks later, in a shoe.
“Often, if girls are smart or in supportive homes, symptoms are masked,” Solden says. “Because they’re not hyperactive or causing trouble for other people, they’re usually not diagnosed until they hit a wall, often at college, marriage, or pregnancy. A lot of things that are simple and routine to other people—like buying groceries, making dinner, keeping track of possessions, and responding to emails—do not become automatic to these women, which can be embarrassing and exhausting.”
As a recent college graduate cautiously negotiating adulthood in New York City, I am both embarrassed and exhausted by my struggles to keep track of objects and time. While the stakes have become significantly higher—credit cards, passports, and cameras have slipped through my fingers—medication has minimized the frequency of these incidents.
I can’t say that I know what part is ADHD, what part is me, or whether there’s a difference. I can say that ADHD medication (in conjunction with SSRIs) has granted me a base level of functionality; it has granted me the cognitive energy to sit at my jobs, to keep track of my schedule and most possessions, and to maintain a semblance of control over the quotidian, fairly standard tasks that had overwhelmed me—like doing laundry, or finding a sensible place to put my passport.
Medication is certainly not a cure-all, but when paired with the awareness granted by a diagnosis, it has rendered my symptoms more bearable—less unknown, less shameful. And while I’m certain I’ll continue to misplace and forget objects, I have discovered the virtues of a little self-love, a lot of self-forgiveness, and even using different drawers to store different things.
The drawer thing, though, is a work in progress. The next time I misplace my keys, the fridge will be the first place I look.
I had NO idea that ADHD manifests so differently. But holy shit it is making me really consider talking to a doctor, because those symptoms are essentially some of the most prominent features of my personality, and it only became a problem when I was no longer living at home. Jesus.
First thing I read today and it made me cry. I don’t think I’m recognizing myself so much, but I sure know a couple friends that are just like this. One even has a son with ADHD, which makes a lot of sense.
Holy fuck. I had no idea this stuff could be ADHD symptoms. Maybe I need to see a brain doc again.
Super super curious about how this manifests in trans people, because it mentioned estrogen but it’s not clear how much of the difference is because of estrogen levels and how much of it is because of social differences.
i have never seen a post with a plot twist like this before
This is the exact mix of wonderful and awful parenting I expect most tumblr users will display in later life.
A sweet collection of assorted musings by photographer Emily Blincoe based in Texas. All objects stored and arranged in colors and themes.
The Anatomy of a mermaid
i hate when people draws mermaid’s tail like it was some sort of goddamn suit on normal human legs like this:
it just doesnt work
yeah we wouldnt want to make our mermaids too unrealistic
hey, baby’s gotta eat
black mommy excellence
I don’t support breast feeding in public places. Sorry not sorry. I just think there is a time and place for everything.
the time is when the baby is hungry
and the place is where the mother is able to feed the baby
everyone is always critiquing black motherhood and here we have a black woman not only graduating but giving her baby the nourishment it needs
i think there’s a time and place for your negativity
and it’s not now and it’s not on this picture
people don’t realize that when they say parents shouldn’t breast feed in public they’re really saying “my discomfort and objectification of breasts is more important than your child’s health and survival.” all you fuckers who say this shit should be charged with neglect. you can’t forbid people from feeding their children just cause boobs give weak dudes boners.
people run “aesthetic blogs” where they just reblog pics of like neon lights and pools of water and weird textures and stuff and i don’t really get it but i like to look at those blogs, it’s nice to know that you guys are out there, always silent, never getting into fights, just reblogging pics of wrinkled plastic bags… keep doing ur thing
totally spoiling the Alex/Izzie storyline for myself on Grey’s Anatomy by watching fanvids on youtube because I’m sad and they’re cute and make me smile
"Vancouver School Board Introduces Gender-Neutral Pronouns"
"Students and teachers in Vancouver can now use the gender-neutral pronouns "xe," "xem," and "xyr." The move is designed to accommodate students for whom "he" and "she" does not fit or is deemed inappropriate…
"The newly coined pronouns — xe, xem, and xyr — are pronounced to rhyme with the genderless plurals "they," "them," and "their," and all starting with the "z" sound. So phonetically speaking, they’re pronounced "zey, "zem", and "zare.""
Click here to read the full article.
the article doesn’t do the issue justice.
the issue regarded policy change, where the vancouver school board’s (VSB) LGBTQ+ advisory committee re-wrote existing policy to protect staff and students falling on the queer and trans spectrums.
the policy revision includes
-they/them/their and non-traditional pronouns being recognized by the school system
-required used of preferred names and pronouns by all staff and students
-preferred names/pronouns on all school records
-gender-accesible washrooms and change rooms available to those who require them
-disciplinary action taken against those who act in a discriminatory or hateful manner towards students, staff, and families falling on the queer and trans spectrums
the consultation was the longest ever done by the VSB, with over 120 speakers spread across 3 meetings.
the process also resulting in two school board trustees being ejected form their party’s caucus, due their discriminatory actions and arguments.
these are links to stories by vancouver media about the issue
Iron Man Trivia Part 1/Part 2 click on pictures to read captions with more trivia